sad side of joy

for G

I thought you might,

you know,

just once –

after four years

of tragic stop-go

traffic, of four tortured

left feet free-spinning into

chaos, so

I’m trading you in

for snow peaks and fat,

middle America sky. The fact is –

I’ve finally unraveled at the feet of desire,

filleted by a godforsaken prism

of low light and homespun,

two-timing triangulation.

Dear imprisoned wavelength,

I got out, you stayed.

I’m not sorry.

Yours truly,

Grief, pro forma.

I’ll plant the sad side of my joy

in silky corn acreage of heartland

where the mountains can spoil it

with their palatial shadows –

I’ll think, damn how the years fly by –

married to such a loyal breeze.

I really thought you might,

you know,

just once –

let the chaos catch fire.

montana from the road, Susan Bell